Season 1: Pengalamanku menjadi gigolo ... (Trey) bagian 3

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Dimobil I choose to play a song, the song that represent my mood for that morning
something upbeat, a happy song, gua dengerin again again it;s on repeat .
Dont get me wrong by the pretenders

Don't get me wrong,
If I'm looking kind of dazzled;
I see neon lights,
Whenever you walk by.

Once in a while,
Two people meet
Seemingly for no reason
They just pass on the street.
Suddenly thunder showers everywhere
Who can explain the thunder and rain
But there's something in the air.


what a wonderful song, bener bener i found the perfect song for my mood that day, make me so happy.
But keadaan, langsung berubah menjadi sibuk.
That week , so hectic at work,selesai kantor juga very hectic socially, ada banyak kegiatan, friend's birthday, anaknya friend yang birthday, mini reunion lah, yang penting banyak banget acara deh.
udah itu jakarta makin macet, kemana mana macet, spent my whole life dimobil.
Dengan si dia , ada sih sms smsan , tapi sebatas bilang nite nite, morning, udah makan bla bla, biasalah basa basi kagak berguna.

Sebetulnya bisa ketemuan lagi on the weekend, tapi gua juga ada acara kawinan di bandung, dia maksain ngajakin ketemuan juga sih di bandung.Tapi gua bilang impossible deh, kagak enak, lagi kumpul kumpul tiba tiba ninggalin temen temen, nanti dikira guanya antisocial.
Walaupun gua miss him somuch, gua mesti sabar , mesti nunggu seminggu from last meeting with him.
rencana gua dari bandung, langsung ketempati dia ah
so gua sms dia , " sunday nite, r u available? nggak usah dihotel berbintang deh , kamu ada tempat?"
dia balas sms" Kok jadi kamu yang nentuin sekarang?"
gua balas ,”hahaha, anyway mau nggak?
Dia sms:" ok, di tempatku"
aku nanya lagi," kamu tinggal sama siapa ?"
dia jawab," sendiri"
YES YES YES, kalau tinggal sama keluarga kan susah ..(slowly i get to know him).
Bandung Jakarta macet boook, ampun deh. Gua sampe diapartemenya daerah kuningan, udah jam 9 an padahal gua berangkat dari bandung, jam 3 an, tapi mampir dikartika sari dulu sih, bikin lama juga .
Sampai di apartemen dia, dia nungguin gua di lobby, lihat bawa baraang gua yang super banyak,
dia nyeletuk,"emang mau moving in?"
gua jawab," udah ah, berisik, bantu bawain kenapa."
Gua sampai di apartemen dia, langsung hug him( gua kangen).Dia masih kaku dan kebingungan gitu, melihat gua sok mesra. Dia akhirnya cuma melihat gua and said,” hmm ok.”
Sesampainya diapartemennya, gua melihat sekeliling apartemenya, banyak buku, banyak kertas kertas. Ada alat alat photography, camera, tripod, lensa .
Gua langsung nyerocos," wow, kamu kerjanya apa sih?"
Dia nawarin gua minum, air putih dingin. Gua nanya lagi," nama kamu siapa sih?"
Dia looked at me. ( i miss that smiling EYES, kangen)
" we need to talk"
gua lagi lihat lihat gambar gambar yang ada di mejanya. " this is nice, keren banget", gua melihat salah satu lagi hasil jepretannya ." pemandangannya bagus banget,ini lokasinya dimana?"
Dia grab my hand, " gua mau ngomong"katanya,"
Gua jawab ,"mau ngomong, yah ngomong aja."
Dia looked at me again," i prefer to stay like our previous arrangement" gua bingung, ini anak ngomong apa sih ," maksudnya apa sih?"
Dia jawab lagi," maksud gua gini loh," dengan agak terbata bata dia melanjutkan ," emang now kamu udah boleh ngomong sih,ngak mesti diam membisu kayak perjanjian terdahulu. And I still pay you money, like before , but you need to remember that our relationship is purely business relations, jangan terlalu terbawa perasaan deh intinya."
Gua terkejut, nggak nyangka akan kata kata itu," Oh my god, yes, i forget, i am sorry,the relation of prostitute and the client."
Gua langsung angkat travelling bag gua, " [i]i am leaving right now!, itu ada kartika sari,untuk kamu." [/i]
Dia langsung ngejar gua, grab my shoulder," please, listen to me."
Gua langsung jawab," NO, let me go." (i am just a gigolo, how i can forget that)
gua nggak pernah merasa diri gua itu sebagai gigolo, namun sekarang udah dicap, and get the label, hmmmm...oh i can not accept it, i dont see myself as gigolo.
But really theoritically I am a gigolo( walaupun I am not a gigolo). dia menahanku didepan pintu. Gua udah bersikeras mau pulang . gua capek banget, dari bandung, terjebak macet, and mesti face up with something stupid like this, even being humiliated.
Dia lalu mengenggam mukaku, dua tanganya di pipiku, looking at me," Please sit down, and give me one minute, just one minute to explain. if you dont like my explaination, u r free to go."
Aku akhirnya duduk di meja makannya, gua lihaat banyak travelling magazine, national geograpic. Dia tiba tiba mengambil secarik pen dan selembar kertas. Gua teringat kata kata yang diucapkan om dave , that a gay man need to protect his heart, pasti gua udah mau kena reject lagi deh, ampun ampun. Gua langsung nyela " I know what u r going to talk about about, u need to protect your heart, that;s it. I understand, May i go?"
Dia mulai ngomong," kamu denger bentar bisa nggak sih ?, susah kali diatur nih anak ."
Dia mulai menulis sesuatu dikertas itu.
1. Expectation.
Gua sebenarnya udah super super BeTe, males banget deh, dengerin ceramah dakwah. Tapi gua tiba tiba ketawa," kamu lagi jual asuransi yah ,HAHAHAHa"
dia ngakak," OMG, u r unbelievable. LISTEN TO ME FIRST!"
intinya dia jelasin, sebagai money boy (pelacur dan klien) sudah ada batas batasan tertentu, secara sadar kita tahu posisi masing masing. Kita tahu boundary kita, apa yang bisa kita katakan, apa yang bisa kita lakukan.
hmm gua mencerna pelan pelan perkataanya.
Gua terus berkata," yeah, u r rite, this way, i can have seks with anyone i want, and you have no rite to be jealous,that;s good idea ..u may be rite." dia cuma diam, terkejut,” you are ruining my concentration."
gua nyela lagi," BUt i have expectation of you paying MORE MONEY."
Dia nyeletuk: dasar material boy
dia mulai menulis lagi.

2.Privacy or anonymousity
intinya sesuai peribahasa," tak kenal maka tak sayang." we can be stranger, we dont need to know each other, intinya dont sweat for the small stuff.We don’t need to know each other more and deeper .
Gua nyela lagi," iya bagus juga sih, nanti kalau kita ketemuan di jalan, elo say hi kegua, and people nanyain gua , who is he ? gua cuma jawab, Oh dia cuma stranger aja , i dont know him, but i sucked his dick, tasted his cum. Something like that kan? “
Dia lalu knocked his head," OMG, i am kinda giving up talking to you, kayak ngomong ama batu."
gua ngomong lagi," are you finished with your lecture ? coz i am leaving."
He looked me ,kinda begging,' please do it my way, trust me,my way is the best way, and if it;s not working, i let you go.
" think! do think! no expectation, no jealousy, no empty promises, it;s an ideal situation."
Gua bener bener kagak mengerti jalan pikirannya, apa emang gigolo diperlakukan kayak begitu yah .
" Kamu penjelasannya kok ribet amat sih, intinya aku tetap jadi pelacur, dan kamu tetap jadi kilenku, supaya intinya kamu nggak jatuh cinta, kamu nggak usah takut dikecewakan, ngak usah cemburu, kayak gitu?"
Dia ngejawab," hmmm, kurang lebih kayak gitu sih, aku pengen companion, i hate loneliness, tapi aku juga nggak mau the complexity of relationship."
Gua lihat kedia ," u know what, i dunno what to say, I am totally speechless."
Gua masih menncoba untuk mencerna lagi, " jadi intinya, kita udah define relationship kita, jadi tidak ada misunderstanding in the future,no expectation, no drama .kita jelas hubungannya.”
Gua ngerti kok, hubungan business sex, gitu doang.

Dia menatap gua lagi, "gini deh, contohnya kamu jadi adik angkat gua, kita bisa tetap dekat, akrab, tapi kita nggak mungkin have seks, karena jadinya incest. mirip role playing gitu lah."

Gua jawab lagi." elo ngomongnya to the point aja deh, intinya elo nggak mau pacaran sama gua, tapi tetap mau having seks sama gua kan ? " Dia jawab lagi ,"Hmm iya."
GUa bales jutek,” emang siapa yang mau pacaran sama elo? “
TErus gua jawab lagi , " OH SHIT, kok ribet kali sih penjelasan elo , maksud elo, elo maunya Cuma seks buddy, TTM kan teman tapi mesra?"
Terus dia jawab lagi , " NO, i dont want to be your friend juga, makanya gau mau jelasin sampe bener bener clear, gua maunya pure business relation!'
Gua emosi," BYE!!!I am not your friend, i am not your boy friend,i am just a seks machine,BYe!, I don’t know what you are, but you are not even a human!.
Dia jawab lagi: I pay money, not free, TTM is free!!!

Gua nanya lagi," answer me honestly, is it because i am a prostitute, you don’t want to be my friend ?"
i can see sadness and guilt in his face, he said," i am sorry, but mostly yes. For normal person, prostitute is not our choice for ideal and normal friends. “
Gua mengangguk, dengan pasrah, aku menjawab," i see.'
Terus dia membuka bajunya, menunjuk lukanya ," you see this. it's so disgusting.it;s scary."
gua jawab lagi," So?"
gua lihat kalau matanya sedikit berkaca-kaca, tapi dia berusaha kuat menahan air matanya, lalu berkata," I dunno how to say this, i hope you dont take this in a wrong way, you r the first person, who didnt bother at all, pretending that you didnt notice it, didnt even ask a single question, as if nothing wrong.I still want to see you regularly, you are very nice and kind”
Gua jawab lagi (bitch mode on)" But too bad, i am a prostitute, rite?"
Dia dengan perasaan bersalah, menjawab," i am sorry, but yes.i wish you are not a gigolo"
BITCH MODE ON !
Gua attack him again," and you are wishing, for someone rich, good looking, intelligent, and kind, to be able to like u, tanpa memperdulikan keadaan kulitmu? "
Dia kelihatan merasa bersalah namun dengan jujur ia menjawab, "i wish and pray for that some one"
Bitch mode on
Gua tiba tiba ketawa sedikit," And do you find him?reality check dear, realitas kehidupan gitu loh.hahah ternyata takdir berkehendak lain here, here i am, the expensive whore to be your prince charming , the one yang ngak peduli sama kekurangan elo "

Dia tiba tiba tersenyum," Iya, entah kenapa aku malahan ketemu ama gigolo with an acid tongue."
Aku jawab lagi," i am sorry dear, i am just a gigolo, i am so poor, that i have to have sex for money, sucking dick to make a living ."
dia jawab lagi,' But still i dont want to lose you, i pay you, u r a very professional, i believe when people said you get what you pay, it;s True.you are worth every single penny that I pay you.”

Gua dalam hati,apa mungkin ,dia nggak tahu kalau gua ada duit, OMG, apa cara berpakaian gua kurang branded, apa cara ngomong gua kampungan. OMG.gua lagi confident crisis deh.
Terus dia nanya lagi," So are we good ?"

gila segampang gitu,enak aja.
BITCH MODE on again
Gua mengangkat tangan gua,sambil acting lalu menutup mata gua dan teriak," pake bajumu, aku takut, it;s scary, hahahahah."
Dia sighed," i really believe something wrong with your head, and i dont know why, i still want to use you.something wrongwith myself I guess"
Gua jawab lagi, " Who said, that i am Ok? i havent said yes yet.,,kata kata elo bagus banget yah...use you,..use you ."
* Bitch mode on+ mau naikkan harga*
Gua nanya lagi," Emang selama ini, ngak ada yang mau ml sama kamu?"
Dia menjawab," I dont want your pity, but unfortunately no one,if they get to see the scar. when i see someone , and then he saw my scar and skin condition, they will arggh, bertanya itu kenapa? menular nggak?bahkan ada yang menutup hidung, padahal ngak bau sama sekali. Gua pikir gua bisa lure, orang miskin, you know money boy yang bener bener miskin, yang butuh duit, tapi aku tetap terlalu menjijikan bagi mereka.Tapi kalau dikegelapan, kayak kita pertama kali, mereka nggak tahu, mereka sih fine fine aja.

Gua jawab." OMG, i want to be paid MORE!"

to be continued...